Tag Archives: 99 problems

Problem time again

Ok, I’m coming up to date with the ones I’ve done so far, which will take us to 40 and I warn you that they’re starting to get pretty tenuous too! If anyone wants to donate any problems, you’re very welcome as I have currently run out! Time to get thinking…

if you having Fifth Element problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but Milla Jovovich ain’t one

if you having Addams Family problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but Lurch ain’t one

if you having twitchy nose problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but Bewitched ain’t one

if you having Springwatch problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the badger ain’t one

if you having World Cup problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but Peter Crouch ain’t one

if you having broken leg problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the crutch ain’t one

if you having seat problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the couch ain’t one

Leave a comment

Filed under General

Problematique

More of them 99 problems:

if you having bad repair problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the botch ain’t one

if you having collection problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the batch ain’t one

if you having accessory problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the broach ain’t one

if you having lighter problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the match ain’t one

if you having lock problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the latch ain’t one

if you having thong problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the crotch ain’t one

if you having troubled water problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the bridge ain’t one

if you having Abercrombie problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the Fitch ain’t one

Latest count – 33!

Leave a comment

Filed under General, Music

Problem child

Yet more problems, the first from an esteemed colleague

If you having Quidditch problems i feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but the snitch ain’t one

This next batch are from Bryce, with a number of corkers that I hadn’t thought of. Thanks Bryce, fabulous work:

If you’re having hipster problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but the kitsch ain’t one

If you’re having Christmas problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but the Grinch ain’t one

If you’re having Hogwarts problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but Quidditch ain’t one

If you’re having specialty problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but a niche ain’t one

If you’re having football problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but the pitch ain’t one

If you’re having Yugoslavian problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems, Milosevic ain’t one

If you’re having social class problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but the rich ain’t one

If you’re having identification problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but the “which?” ain’t one

One from Garytherough:

if you’re having skin problems I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but an itch ain’t one

And finally, some from me:

if you having tan problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the beach ain’t one

if you having sewing problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the stitch ain’t one

if you having smoking problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the patch ain’t one

if you having cleaning problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the bleach ain’t one

if you having tree identification problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the oak…no, sorry, the cedar, no, er… the beech, yes, definitely the beech ain’t one

if you having door problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the hatch ain’t one

if you having Irish girl band problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but B*witched ain’t one

I believe that takes us to 25!

Leave a comment

Filed under General

Bookshops, WD-40 and more ‘problems’

I was chatting to Ben today at work. He’s a work colleague who knows everyone and brings the room together with his nonchalantly gregarious nature. He told me why WD-40 is called WD-40 and I’m ashamed to say I didn’t believe him until I looked it up on Wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WD-40

Thanks, Ben, I found that genuinely fascinating.

I love the smell of bookshops.

Thanks also to Pad for another of the 99 problems, it’s one I had in mind but you put it better than I ever would have!!

Here’s another three to take the total up to 7:

if you having light problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the switch ain’t one

if you having running problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the stitch ain’t one

if you having Will Smith problems I feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but Hitch ain’t one

And here’s a cool and related video:

http://toeleven.net/2010/01/18/jay-z-vs-nena-99-luft-problems/

3 Comments

Filed under General

Jay Z wouldn’t thank me for this…

I have been inspired by a picture of Geordi La Forge on this ‘ere t’interweb (he’s the engineer in Star Trek: The Next Generation who wears a hairband over his eyes) with the caption, ‘if you having hull problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but the breach ain’t one’.

I found it amusing and realised I wanted to do some more. Then someone asked, after reading two of mine, if I had another 97 of them.

Well, always one to take up a ridiculous challenge, I am going to try to come up with 99 ‘problems’ that I simply do not have. Thanks Paul. I should point out that they will probably get pretty tenuous pretty quickly.

First three:

if you having offroad problems I feel bad for you, son. i got 99 problems but the ditch ain’t one

if you having broom problems i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the witch ain’t one

if you having I.T. problems i feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but the glitch ain’t one

1 Comment

Filed under General